Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I'm listening

I'M LISTENING

Honestly I am.

Apologies for my melodramatic, weepy post. I think I need a little mood check box on the blogger dashboard asking me what mood I am in. And then if it is anything heading towards self-indulgence, the post can be deleted never to be seen again. That way I get the cathartic release in typing it and pressing the post button!

But seriously, you are right.

And what I realised this afternoon is that it is approaching that time when hormones leap around and play havoc with sensibilities. Maybe that dashboard should have a 'hormonal - yes/no' button. That would be useful. With a pre-published disclaimer - 'this post was written under the influence of extreme hormones and therefore should be read with caution'.

On a more practical note, yes I know I need to get out of this marriage and believe it or not I am actually taking steps to do that. As I think I mentioned, financially I am up the creek without a paddle alone. And what I need is to have some degree of financial independence before I go. I am the not-so-proud owner of a credit card bill that is in my sole name and that needs to be paid off before I leave so that I can survive on as small amount of money as possible. So, I'm actively pursuing ways to not only reduce household expenditure (with any surplus going towards my 'independence fund') but I am also sorting out the ridiculously bulging wardrobes in this house and flinging the lot on eBay. No it won't make me millions, but it will add up over time.

I'm not, at this stage, going to provoke a separation from DH. But it is on the cards. And if push came to shove and either he found out or I reach the point where I can't carry on here then I do have , potentially, somewhere I could go. It's not an avenue that I will explore unless it becomes absolutely necessary, but just knowing that it is there is giving me a great deal of comfort.

So, I am doing something.

And thanks for the kick up the bottom, I needed it.

8 Comments:

Blogger FunkyB said...

NOW I see the new template. OMG, it's truly stunning! I'm in love with it -- really. I want to buy it dinner, hold its hand, and kiss it under a moonlit sky.
Seriously.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Romeo Jensen said...

no deleting of moody post allowed!!!
dernit!!
hey tomorrows HNT :)

any chance of seeing some MORE of u *wink wink*

12:26 AM  
Blogger Sasha said...

good girl!
at least get everything covered before you do anything drastic... oh if only i were there, i'd help you load your stuff out of the house!... no looking back now...

3:48 AM  
Blogger The real me said...

Love the new template too.

Sorry for kicking your butt (that makes twice, right?!)... but that's what I do.

Not mad are you?

4:06 AM  
Blogger Yeah, him. said...

I'm digging the new look and color scheme... Have a good 1... be back for pictures later.

4:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! I just discovered your blog by accident, and wanted to give you my support and say good luck with everything. We all deserve to be happy, remember that, and don't accept anything less.
xx

9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was bouncing around and read this post in your blog. You deserve to be happy. For whatever reason, if you are not happy your children will pick up on it. Look after your children by looking after their mother. You are their role model.

Best wishes.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Evil Minx said...

DF - i am so proud of you. And very, very glad to hear that you are more sorted and together than you sounded in your last post.

Am here for you, whenever, wherever. And all power to you.

All love

Minxxxxxxxxx

8:42 AM  

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