Sunday, October 16, 2005

the princess of paranoia

THE PRINCESS OF PARANOIA

She's entered the building.

Wearing a Cinderella-sweet dress that hides steel toe-capped boots just perfect for stamping on any stray emotions. Naughty little things, those emotions. They think they can have their own way.

Princess of Paranoia says they can't.

She says she is the boss and that she will crush those deviant emotions beneath her feet as if they were eggshells.

She tries to tell me that she is doing this for my own best interests. She says she cares about me. She says she's protecting me from hurt.

But actually she's trying to take out my heart with a spoon and lock it away in a metal box.

And she wants to steal my voice. Suck it out of me and seal it in a shell, like in the little mermaid.

I don't like the Princess of Paranoia.

She's a spoilt, selfish, petulant brat.

I want to whup her Royal ass until she picks up her twenty-three layers of crystal-encrusted net skirt and runs for the hills.

But I'm so small and she's so big, I don't think I can beat her on my own. She took away my only weapon. She waited until I wasn't looking and she stole my bow and arrows. The bow was made of heart strings and the arrows were made of S's words. They were the only things that could pierce the Princess's jewelled bodice and hurt her. And now I don't have them.

She laughs at me. Tells me I should ask S for another bow and more arrows. But then she laughs even louder and even harder in that cruel way and says that they won't be the same if I have to ask. The best arrows are ones that are freely given. And that if I have to ask S for them then they are not the true arrows I need. She says that S will not know I need these arrows.

And so I am weaponless, standing on a battlefield. Exposed and vulnerable and very very frightened.

And with my last shred of defiance I'm going to take a deep breath and shout at the top of my voice. So that it echoes for miles around.....

Fuck you, Princess of Paranoia, you don't belong here.

And just hope that 4,000 miles away, S hears me.

8 Comments:

Blogger Jeff said...

Very moving. How hard it is without our bow and arrows...

6:43 AM  
Blogger Evil Minx said...

You yell, DF, you yell and scream and shout and I promise you that not only will S hear, S will turn and shoot a flamethrower at that bitch of a Princess, and demolish her.

I know this because the Princess's brother sometimes sits on my shoulder, and I've learned to shrug him off and then crush him under my shoe. The bastard.

Am sending you good faith vibes, honey. Jump and catch 'em!

Minxxxx

12:18 PM  
Blogger papamamba said...

you still hace a weapon, your voice. and you're using it. sending energy...

3:57 PM  
Blogger Morris said...

I'm happy you two are doing so well.

Mr. Morris
Ask Morris

4:38 PM  
Blogger Deadly Female said...

jeff - it is so hard, but I am being re-armed

minx - I caught the good vibes, thank you so much - and S does indeed possess a flamethrower, one that she uses without being asked, the very best kind

papamamba - yes I still have my voice and I will continue to use it. thank you for the energy.

morris - I did consider deleting your comment, however I feel that would give you exactly the response you wished for. So, being the fair-minded person that I am, I have decided to leave it here for all to see. I am happy that you are able to find pleasure in someone else's sadness, that is a rare characteristic and one that I, for one, would hate to possess.

6:19 PM  
Blogger CycleGuy said...

Be strong and ignore the princess... I'm sure that S hears you, just as you would hear her.

7:10 PM  
Blogger natty68 said...

*hugs* honey.

Offers up a brand new set of bow and arrows just for your use.. *hugs*

10:18 PM  
Blogger Sasha said...

you're so much bigger than that bitch. so much bigger.

5:57 AM  

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