Monday, December 26, 2005

cough bang wallop

COUGH BANG WALLOP

Well, it's all over bar the shouting.

Christmas Day was uneventful, messy and lazy.

The day began with the usual mad present fest and a 6.20am start. I got some interesting presents. DH bought me a new digital camera and a 3-in-1 printer/scanner/copier. He didn't choose them. When we went Christmas shopping earlier in December I spotted both of them and he raised no objections. I think he might have actually flashed the plastic that bought them though.

But the award for the least-well-received gift of 2005 goes to MIL.

Now I have an interesting relationship with MIL. We are very different kinds of people. Very different. If I were to describe her in one word, I would say she was POINTY. Pointy looking, pointy natured. Credit where it is due, she is a fantastic grandparent, but she and I long ago agreed that we would probably disagree about pretty much everything in life and arrived at a carefully maintained truce. I'll try not to go on and on and on about her because for every fault I can find with her I'm sure she would have something to say about me. Anyway, I digress. Normally, each Christmas, she asks DH what 'we' want for Christmas. Normally we get something of some significance - last year for example we received a very nice (and very expensive) white and gold china dinner service. This year, she didn't ask.

So yesterday I received two parcels addressed only to me - from MIL and FIL.

Imagine my barely restrained glee when I opened no less than a tea towel. Not just any tea towel, but a tea towel that she clearly bought for me when on her holidays in August because it is attractively embroidered with the name of the place she visited. Yippee-bloody-ay-eh.

The second parcel looked more promising. A long, thin, triangular shaped gift that I know instantly meant one thing only. Toblerone. For those of you not familiar with Toblerone, it is the most delicious chocolate with chunks of nougat, and it's shaped like a triangle. Very distinctive. So I was a tad excited at the sight of this rather large, wrapped up bar of Toblerone.

Now, I love chocolate. That is not hard to fathom out. Everyone that knows me knows I love chocolate. But it is no secret that I love only milk and dark chocolate. I hate white chocolate - I mean, it's not even chocolate at all! It's sickly and over-sweet and should only be given to babies. Ever. I have never even so much as stolen a crumb of white chocolate from any inncoent child. Milk chocolate buttons - not safe. Milky (white chocolate) Bars - you can keep 'em.

So back to the present, and I'm sure you can guess what is coming next, can't you? Yep, you got it, I unwrap the family sized bar of Toblerone to discover that it's the new white chocolate version.

How cruel is that? I mean, how totally, utterly, shockingly cruel?

Needless to say I will be donating the Toblerone to someone else. Any takers??

So from thereon in the day deteriorated somewhat. The eldest has the most dreadful of coughs. It sounds like a baby seal. Actually, it sounds like an adult seal on 40 cigarettes a day. Eldest child refused chocolate (so out of character - normally this child is definitely it's mother's child in this respect) and spent most of the afternoon asleep on the couch. And today is still no better. I've been dosing up with various medicines, and hoping it passes quickly.

Then, mid-morning, youngest child was spectacularly sick. Whilst playing nicely, there came the sudden announcement of a sickly feeling and then, hey presto, exorcist moment with projectile vomit everywhere. Lovely. DH is less than useless when faced with bodily excretions and so it was left to me to try to get down onto the floor and scrub it up.

After that, the rest of the day passed peacefully enough.

Normally, on Christmas Day, we are descended upon by MIL, FIL, aged Grandma, aged Auntie, dysfunctional and lying SIL, useless and workshy BIL and their two unfortunate children. But because I have a broken foot they decided to stay away. Must remember this tactic for next year.

We had been invited down to MIL/FILs for lunch today (along with SIL, BIL, etc etc) but we reluctantly *cough cough* had to decline the invitation. What a shame.

So instead we've spent the day clearing up the debris.

And while I have been typing this rather verbose post, S has popped up online so I am doubly happy. We spoke yesterday on the phone, twice in fact. She loves her gifts. I'm just so so so glad she got them in time.

I'm just counting down the time to September now. And trying hard to control my need for her.

11 Comments:

Blogger Angel Girl said...

Oh wonderful, MIL that's psycho lol. I am in full agreeance with you.. white chocolate is a disgrace to the chocolate name. My fav is dark chocolate, leaving milk chocolate for the truly desperate times..

I am glad that S got her gifts in time and that she enjoyed them :) I got the only gift I will ever need coming on a plane to see me in just a few short days!

3:15 PM  
Blogger princessdominique said...

Wow I love white chocolate but as a MIL I wonder if she knew you didn't like white chocolate. Interesting post.

4:10 PM  
Blogger Francesca said...

A tea towel? Please tell me you are kidding...Oy vey!...

I love the Toblerone chocolates. I first learned of them when I lived away moons ago...Haven't had one in ages and likely won't for quite some time, either, since I'm trying to lose weight! I normally love the milk chocolate and do fancy the white chocolate, too, but I agree with you, it's terribly sweet!

I hope your DD1 is well soon. It seems so many people catch a cold or the bug around this time. Certainly no fun at Christmas.

Glad your day went well!

Hugs!

4:21 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hiya Deadly, sorry to read that the girls are unwell at the moment. Hope they're both back to 100% real soon.

I've just noticed my link on your sidebar...never realised you had me on there before. It kinda stands out a bit now seeing as it has a line through it lol I'd be more than happy to put you on my blogroll. I'll admit I've been in and out of here over the months, keeping track of what's happening between you and S. Was very excited on your behalf to read the other day that the two of you will be meeting in person next September. It might seem like a long way at the moment, but the time will come before you know it. I've been waiting for Walker since October 2004, and now he's in the air as I type!

All the very best to you and your family...may the New Year fly through to September in the blink of an eye :)

5:27 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

oh, I forgot to ask. Did DH get his own present from his mum and dad? And if so, what was it/they?

Curious to know whether MIL was having a brain fart or if she was deliberately trying to get at you.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Minerva said...

I just had to laugh at that.. Silly woman..*sigh*

Happy Christmas and thank you so much for all the support you have shown me this year..What a great friend you are!

Minerva

1:15 AM  
Blogger Evil Minx said...

"I'll try not to go on and on and on about her because for every fault I can find with her I'm sure she would have something to say about me."

This says so much about the kind of character you are, Deadly. Someone very special, obviously.

As for the tea towel, i say shove it in her face. Not literally -- i mean, where's the finesse in that? Use it wipe up the dog poo on a regular basis, and have it displayed flagrantly among the crappest of the crap house utensils. Or something.

I seriously, seriously sympathise.

That said - only 363 days to go until next year... and who knows where you'll be then, or with whom...

3:30 AM  
Blogger Sasha said...

that is just a bummer. MILs should be banned!!! (not that i have one)

7:01 AM  
Blogger Wenchy said...

Don't mention MIL's...

btw... I love Billy Connolly talking about eating Toblerone... always makes me laugh.

9:04 AM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

Ohh my gosh. Do you think I can hold my breath until September? I will give it a go. How exciting!

10:03 AM  
Blogger CycleGuy said...

Dark chocolate all the way!!!
Could it be that DH has told MIL about his intentions to leave?
Just a thought.
I hope your daghters feel better soon, and that you'll be up and about normally in no time...

1:10 PM  

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