Saturday, February 04, 2006

emails across the distance


me to ~S~


I miss you baby.

I miss you so much.

Please find something to fill this empty space where you should be.

I made some lunch - lentil soup and bread - it was pleasant enough but would have tasted better with you beside me.

It's cold here too. I need your arms around me.I just miss you.

I love you forever


~S~ to me

Baby if I find something to fill that empty space, where do I go? :o( I hate you feeling this way, but I'm scared of the alternative...

I love you.


me to ~S~

Baby, you don't go anywhere without me.

I guess I'm just struggling to cope with being apart from you. I know I have to cope. I know I will eventually learn to cope. It just feels so hard today. I sit at the PC re-reading all our old conversations and emails. I look at your pictures constantly. My heart aches so much.

I love you ~S~, and try as I might nothing will fill that empty space. You are the only one that is a perfect fit.


~S~ to me

Writing is the only answer. It's the best therapy. Write on your blog. Write in Word. Just write. How you feel. Write about nothing

me to ~S~

There is nothing else. There is only you.

You need to work, I'll stop distracting you now.

I love you forever


~S~ to me

You are all I care about. Not work, not anything else. I am alone right now.

me to ~S~

Baby I love you. I am so so cold, I can't stop shivering.

Just put your arms around me and hold me? Please?


~S~ to me

Feel my arms around you. My heartbeat matching yours. My warm touch igniting tiny fires within you. I love you forever.

Sorry about yesterday.

For the first time I'm having to get used to not being able to speak with ~S~ as much as usual - her new job has very limited internet access. She can check emails periodically but not very often. It's just hit me so much harder than I ever thought it would and yesterday was a knee jerk reaction to that.

In fact, she had woken in a panic in the middle of the night, realising that she hadn't emailed or messaged me and anticipating my reaction. She called me, as she always does, and we talked as we always do. And yes, it made me feel so much better. It always does.

Like most people, I've been having blogger problems today. So if you left me a comment yesterday and it isn't showing, it's because blogger has helpfully deleted it. It did at least have the decency to send it to my inbox beforehand so I have seen all comments, I think. And if this post spontaneously combusts then it'll be blogger. But then if it spontaneously combusts you won't even see this to know about it *laughs*


Blogger Sapphire said...

I love you baby.


10:09 PM  
Blogger TigerLilly said...


10:54 PM  
Blogger TigerLilly said...

I cant get into mine or anyone elses blog but yours!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Evil Minx said...

It's working again... yay!

It's a countdown, DF... don't forget that. Each day that passes brings you two closer to being together. Try and focus on that -- i know it's hard, but try...

Love you lots,


PS Please re-comment to me? I had the same thing yesterday...

10:49 AM  
Blogger SassyFemme said...

I see your post, I know about it, and I feel bad for the heart ache of you two being seperated. We weren't as far apart as you, but I remember those feelings. I know this seems like an impossibility, but trust me, one day you're going to look back on this time and it's going to seem like just a little blip on the radar of your lives together, and you'll find it hard to remember a time before you were together in person, living your lives as one. It really will happen, I imagine, though, that you're thinking it can't happen soon enough, and no, it can't! Hang in there you guys!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Miladysa said...

Thing will all work out in the end :)

What is up with blogger?! I was unable to catch up with everyone's blogs last night!

12:00 PM  
Blogger The real me said...

I feel like kicking you both in the ass right now.

I don't pretend to have all the answers - really couldn't be farther from the truth - but damn it all... what in the hell are you waiting for?

Life is too short to be longing for someone this way.

4:01 PM  
Blogger SassyLadi said...

Hang in there. They say absense makes the heart grow fonder.......................but it still sucks.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

The real me, if you'd care to give me a few thousand dollars so I can move now, I'd be more than happy to quit waiting.

6:05 PM  
Blogger FunkyB said...

Blogger has been HORRIBLE for days now. I hope they got their mess straightened out.

It's sooooooooooo tough living away from the one who completes you. I do know, because I did it for over a year.

I feel for you guys, I really do.

7:54 PM  
Blogger natty68 said...

*hugs* hon.. :)

12:09 AM  
Blogger pack of 2 said...

I can't imagine. Sorry you two. I hope you are together soon.


6:23 AM  
Blogger a fish on a bycicle said...

"Your absence has gone through me,

Like a thread through a needle,

Everything I do is stitched with its colour"

Sorry - I can't remember the author

11:27 AM  
Blogger Deadly Female said...

Just inspired, fish, it just says it so well xx

11:34 AM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

I know you are going through a tough time right now but I can't WAIT until you two get to be together. Yeah, i'm a sucker for true love like that :P

3:30 PM  
Blogger The real me said...

I know I know S.... no insult, I hope... I'm just saying...

2:45 PM  
Blogger kate said...

I think it takes time... at least that is what people always tell me. Time to get used to a situation that is less than perfect... where you ache to see someone so much you would give your kidney up for it. It must be really tough to be acting normal at home! Good luck!!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Lil Bit said...

Thx for sharing such intimate, private emails.
You 2 are just beautiful. *hugs*

4:42 PM  

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