Friday, October 06, 2006

8

A week ago today I had just left the airport. Almost to the minute.

She was standing in the queue for security, I wasn't allowed to go any further with her. The queue snaked around several times - I could have stood and watched until she disappeared through the double doors at the end but my heart couldn't bear it.

Hundreds, if not thousands of people thronged through the airport that morning. Everyone I could see looked happy - most of them eagerly anticipating holidays, weekends away, business trips. I watched them through blurred eyes, fighting back the tears from the moment we left the car.

She stood in front of me, sadness etched across her face. Tears ran unchecked down mine. All we could do was hold each other. I so desperately wanted to kiss her, just feel her lips on mine one more time. One more time would have never been enough.

When she turned from me and walked to the end of the queue I stood for a moment and watched her, biting my lip to stop the tears turning into sobs. I watched the back of her disappear into a crowd of people before making myself walk out of the airport and back to the car, trying desperately to hold it together until I could get to my own private space.

Then I let go. I wept as if my heart had been ripped from my chest.

Finally, through a wall of salty tears I pulled the car out and drove the loneliest journey I have ever made.

Was it really only a week ago? It feels like a lifetime.

14 Comments:

Blogger Evil Minx said...

Oh sweetheart. I keep telling you how my heart bleeds for you... and it does, it truly does.

Keep the faith.

11:42 AM  
Blogger art said...

hugs

1:00 PM  
Blogger EE said...

Oh ((((DF))))

My heart is hurting for you. Hang in there chickie.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Baby reading those words brought tears to my eyes all over again. I wish I could turn back time and never get on that damn plane. It's brought nothing but heartache and emptiness for us both. I want to be there, I don't want to be here. Everything I do and see reminds me of you. I hate this. I hate that I'm so far from you that I cannot comfort you except through words that aren't enough.

I love you so much. xxx

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yours is the story of many, dear. I know it's my story. Thank you for letting us be a part of your world for a little while each day. Through your words, I have relived my own words. Through your pain, I have revisited my own. Thank you.

E

4:14 PM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

That is one of the WORST feelings in the world. Watching someone you love walk away. I hope next time she is walking toward you FOR GOOD.

4:29 PM  
Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

I went through the same journey at the airport. I almost died there and then in front of fairy, having to let her go was the worse thing that could happen.

I gave her a diary that I wrote all the while we were togther, just for her plane trip, she red it the whole way to turkey, each page covered in tears.

It does get better, I promise

Think of the beautiful journey you'll have when you go and pick her up for that same airport :-)

Take care X

4:38 PM  
Blogger doctorlucy said...

Awww hun, never a truer word spoken. You definetely struck a chord there. Thats exactly how I felt when FT went away and I had to leave her at the airport. I felt exactly how you've described it. I feel for you, and I know nothing anyone could say can make it any better.
It does ease with time though. Hang in there. You have a beautiful future ahead of you both, and you make a perfect couple!
-x-

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Sis B said...

i did that, almost verbatim, seven months ago. that drive back is a killer. the good thing is, we found them, right? there are so many who never even find them, we're fortunate just to have got our hands onto them. they'll be back to us. in the meantime, this loneliness is a bear, isn't it?

11:42 PM  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

This is not right...


I'm sorry.

2:58 AM  
Blogger SassyFemme said...

The airport partings, and the time after them, sucked for Fran and me, too. Hold strong to the belief that you will make it through this, and you will be together again.

3:06 AM  
Blogger Wenchy said...

I am crying with you.

11:57 AM  
Blogger The Zero Boss said...

Jesus. I so feel for you two. Hang in there.

8:10 AM  
Blogger High Maintenance Femme said...

hang on in there hun, she'll be with you soon! Hugs to you both!

5:21 PM  

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